Old Mill vs Ole Miss

In the spirit of all of the hype that the Ole Miss football team has received this season, I figured we should provide you with a peek of the Rebels too, but with a twist. So we took a beer that doesn't get as much PR as the others and we're giving Old Milwaukee its due. Let's take a look at how Old Milwaukee and the University of Mississippi football team stack up head-to-head.

1. Bragging Rights: Ole Miss fans are the first to tell you about their beloved Grove. The Grove has been labeled the best tailgate in America by people all over the country. That's quite the compliment when you consider the competition and the sheer number of venues vying for the honor of best America's best tailgate. On the other hand, Old Mill has it printed right on the can that it is America's Best Tasting Beer. Touche. Impressive, indeed Mr. Old Mill. However, if we let common sense prevail I think we'd find that Old Milwaukee's proclamation may not carry the same weight as it did, say 30 years ago when the distinction may have been accurate. Score one for the Rebels, 1-0.

2. History: Both of these icons have been around a long, long time. Ole Miss has spent much of their history losing football games (their last SEC title came in 1963!). Old Mill has spent much of its history witnessing bar fights, listening to old timers' stories, and taking in drunken, moronic behavior. Chalk one up to Old Mill for always being there, through the good times and bad. 1-1.

3. Quality: Without a doubt Ole Miss has produced some quality players over the years. Archie and Eli Manning were Rebels, and more recently the likes of Michael Oher and Jevan Snead have made national headlines. But when you consider how long the Rebs have been playing football they just don't seem to match up with the year-in-year out quality that Old Mill yields. I'm not sure if that's a compliment to Old Mill or a knock at Ole Miss, but it is what it is. Point Old Mill for sticking to the basics and giving us a reliable product. 2-1.

4. Babes: Let's face it- if you're drinking Old Mill you're probably not roping in any new talent. You're either content to slam cheap beer for the night with the fellas or you're off the market. Maybe you're camping, maybe you're tailgating, maybe you're just enjoying a night on the couch one OM at a time. But one thing is for sure- you aren't fielding any offers from the coeds. A trip to Ole Miss, on the other hand, is said to provide some of the best scenery in America. Gotta tip my cap to the Southern Belles for putting on the cocktail dresses year after year despite having a shitty football team. Ole Miss takes this category in a landslide. Tie game 2-2.

5. Society & Culture: This is where the Rebels could stand to let go of some of their past. The fact that fans wave Confederate flags in support of Ole Miss really gives the Rebs a black eye. The Civil War is over, asshole. Put down the flag and relax. Moreover, Ole Miss has a reputation as being the snooty big brother to in-state rival Mississippi State. Given the Rebs' track record over the past century, I am not sure how they could look down their noses at any fan base. On the flip side, Old Milwaukee actually seems to have inexplicable binding powers. It is virtually impossible to look down your nose or discriminate while holding an Old Milwaukee. Even if you splurge for the bottled version you're still drinking Old Mill, Cletus. Tiebreaker goes to Old Mill for being "the great equalizer." 3-2 Old Mill.

So in a nutshell there you have it. A highly scientific, in-depth look at a couple of old time American classics. Remember to tune in for the Ole Miss @ South Carolina game tomorrow night as the Rebs get their first true road test in Columbia. And the next time your bartender asks "what'll it be" make it an Old Mill...Tell him Steve McQueen* sent you.

The Beav

*Late actor Steve "The King of Cool" McQueen's beer of choice was said to be Old Milwaukee.